Sometimes I feel like I encourage or at least don’t stop things from happening and I embrace being the victim. Am I playing a character? Do I find meaning in martyrdom? Maybe it’s easier to be “successful” if I have a perceived handicap (ie; single dad, not enough money, feeling sick). My electricity gets shut off because someone “screwed” up the auto pay, or the insurance didn’t cover the damages because I was “misled”. I can’t wait to rant and rave about these things happening. I have to succeed in spite of negative things happening…shall I restate that I GET to succeed in spite of negative things happening. I am a walking and talking self-fulfilling prophecy of victimhood. This easier than pushing myself 100% at 100%. Why is this? Insecurity? Possibly. Insecurity is rampant and very dangerous. I often see “confidence” used to cloak insecurity.
Once discovered, it usually looks a lot like arrogance and incompetence. I also see many people hold back, even apologize for simply “trying”. I had a public speaking professor once tell the class the cardinal sin of giving any speech is to apologize for at the beginning . Recognizing this as a “defense mechanism”, we were trained as a class to clap uncontrollably (all in fun, as it usually got a laugh and eased the tension ) anyone who would apologize. We all got 1 or 2 rounds of applause before we learned our lesson.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about self and being, well…your “self”. Read my article on playing the “character” . I’m reminded of Brene’ Brown’s great work Daring Greatly. She discusses the need to be vulnerable to find our true happiness.
Vulnerability is not just “opening up”, it is the culmination of discovering our true self and not only fearlessly putting ourselves out there everyday, but fighting to keep the “characters” off our personal stage.
So now we must be ready to discover our true self by unmasking our characters, and fearlessly seeking what we are all about.
Will you fight to keep the characters away? Do you know who your “character” is?