How Hating People Helped Me Change My Narrative

Recently my narrative, that little voice driving my view of the world, has had me thinking about people. Not in ways I’m proud of.  The narrative has become negative and aggressive.  Frankly, I’m starting to feel like I don’t like people.  This, of course is ridiculous, and completely detrimental to my mission.  This reminds me of  the resistance Steven Pressfield writes of.  In a nutshell, the resistance is the militant arm of mediocrity.  It is the distractions and self doubt that stop you and I from climbing out of the average. This is a new  and very affective attack from the resistance.

Attack on Hindenburg line

Attack on Hindenburg line (Photo credit: National Library of Scotland)

While out on a run yesterday, I decided to unplug and face this resistance head on.  Seth Godin writes that as the resistance gets more intense, we should celebrate.  I decided to leave the party hat behind and stick with my Brooks running cap.  I ran with a smile as I realized that my work and my art is getting better.  The resistance is threatened now more than ever.  This is evidenced by the hardened strike force of subtly (the slow increase of my negative narrative) rather than simple distractions is used to see.
The break in the armor of the resistance is found in facing it head on.  After all, the resistance uses elements of truth to strike at the core of our creative spirit.
 I realized it is not people who I hate. I hate what I see so many of them doing and not doing, and of course I see a reflection of this in myself. These “people” are fake, wasting time, and are bored and boring. They are awkward, uncomfortable in silence and never present.  They are all busy doing things, but busy doing the wrong things.  These are all things I see creeping up in myself.  If I am to succeed in my mission of helping people achieve awesomeness, I must be aware of my vulnerability to these attacks.  In fact, these “things” are all the things  this site is all about changing.
 Intentional living is not easy, but it is the way only way to succeed.  Success doe not happen by chance.
The resistance is much more savvy with me than simple Facebook pings or email interruptions.  I’ve built effective defenses to these and have created better work with the gained focus. This is a good thing.
I share this because we are all in this together.  I’m excited that my art is worth attacking.  My narrative is not that difficult to change.  The simple process of knowing my mission and being aware that I am in fact living and creating my own narrative on a daily basis gave me the wisdom to re write the current and dangerous direction it was going.
What is your narrative telling you that is pulling you toward mediocrity?  How are you fighting back?
Rocco
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I Love Being the Victim: unmasking our true self

Sometimes I feel like I encourage or at least don’t stop things from happening and I embrace being the victim. Am I playing a character? Do I find meaning in martyrdom? Maybe it’s easier to be “successful” if I have a perceived handicap (ie; single dad, not enough money, feeling sick). My electricity gets shut off because someone “screwed” up the auto pay, or the insurance didn’t cover the damages because I was “misled”.  I can’t wait to rant and rave about these things happening.  I have to succeed in spite of negative things happening…shall I restate that I GET to succeed in spite of negative things happening.  I am a walking and talking self-fulfilling prophecy of victimhood. This easier than pushing myself 100% at 100%. Why is this? Insecurity? Possibly. Insecurity is rampant and very dangerous. I often see “confidence” used to cloak insecurity.

Many Faces

Many Faces (Photo credit: whoaitsaimz)

Once discovered, it usually looks a lot like arrogance and incompetence. I also see many people hold back, even apologize for simply “trying”. I had a public speaking professor once tell the class the cardinal sin of giving any speech is to apologize for at the beginning .  Recognizing this as a “defense mechanism”, we were trained as a class to clap uncontrollably (all in fun, as it usually got a laugh and eased the tension ) anyone who would apologize. We all got 1 or 2  rounds of applause before we learned our lesson.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about self and being, well…your “self”. Read my article on playing the “character” . I’m reminded of Brene’ Brown’s great work Daring Greatly. She discusses the need to be vulnerable to find our true happiness.

Vulnerability is not just “opening up”,  it is the culmination of discovering our true self and not only fearlessly putting ourselves out there everyday, but fighting to keep the “characters” off our personal stage.

So now we must be ready to discover our true self by unmasking our characters, and fearlessly seeking what we are all about.

Will you fight to keep the characters away? Do you know who your “character” is?

Rocco
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